To all my friends heading to Vegas and getting into crazy sh!!, I have this one rule that will save you from the perils of a US jail full of schizos, murderers, thieves and other vermin of society, even though you probably only did something slightly stupid in your superhuman coolness brought on by some liver damaging binge drinking.
Rule 1: Don't say a damn thing to the cops, you stupid drunk idiot.

One of the unfortunate fallouts of the current economic downturn is Ted DiBiase.

So when your job is to read what is presented to you on a teleprompter with fake emotion, I guess you don't have to actually realize what you are reading - you just read.

For the love of God, somebody please let me know exactly when the ‘Astro-boy’ look became popular with Ginos? ‘Spiky hair’ is supposed to be a generalization, isn’t it?

P.S. - I got 50 bucks that says at least one of these guys is named Carlos.

P.S.S. - Thank god pink shirt dude in the back decided to raise his arms, so we can all get a glimpse of just how gay that shirt really is.

P.S.S.S. - What is with the gay-ass gang sign? Looks like they are The Doves. I'm real scared...

I wonder if they have competitions to see who can get their hair the spikiest? I guess this shot was taken on spiky hair and striped shirt day. Somebody needs to tell spiky at bottom right to ‘pop his collar’. He ain’t fitting in. Notice the lack of available/interested girls. ‘Nuff said.

When I first looked at this shot, my only thought was ‘what’s with the lips?’ - I figured maybe they were all hamming it up for the camera? My second thought was ‘hey cool, guy on the left is like a Gino mini me!’. My third thought was ‘does that hairstyle really impress anyone? No, seriously, I mean ANYONE?’

Not all Gino’s are skinny. Some are steroid-enhanced rage-a-holics who will tear your brain out of your nose for looking at their girlfriends. They too are fans of spray tan, and believe that the words ’say cheese’ really mean ‘glare at me fiercely, and try to give me cancer with your eyes’. He's probably just mad at the fact that he can't get the manlove of his dreams with pecs as big as his.

Where the heck does a guy find a mega-scoop neck anyways? Probably the same place you get spray tan.

Spiky hair, big man, little shirt, superman belt buckle. My work here is done. Steroids are awesome.

This is a rare shot of a young Gino prior to his first steroid injection. Notice the soft quaff of hair just waiting to be sharpened into lethal spikes, the pert and pouty lips, the bronzing of the skin, the twin cubic zirconia’s in each ear, the neck pendant, the pack of Marlboro’s… This is a blue chip Gino prospect people. He’ll one day command a vast army of Gino warriors into battle. Ironically, this is also what most prison bitches look like.

Nothing makes a Gino look cooler than a bottle of Grey Goose yo. Except for maybe some spiky hair, a spray tan, a big watch, a pendant, a pouty stare, and a wrist strap that says ‘this is an all-ages party, but I’m one of only 12 people here that can drink legally’.

Sylvester Stallone’s ugly cousin bumped into our favorite blonde He-man Gino, and brought his Gino-Emo (Gimo?) buddy along for a picture. Now He-man doesn’t have to be the only guy in the photo with a decidedly homo-sexual shirt on, but he is still clearly upset at repressing his man-love desires.

Somebody needs to find and rescue this poor girl.

If only this car would back up. Quickly. Funny thing is, this l’il Gino probably had sex with some poor dumb teenager as a direct result of taking this photo. Surprising in that his collar wasn’t even popped!

Ahhh.. There we go. Collars - popped. Hair - mad spiked. Eyebrows - plucked to perfection. Lips - Pouty and pink. Head- cocked to near perfect 65 degree

angle… Guys like this used to get beat up routinely when I was in high school. Something very wrong must be occurring within today’s youth.

Honestly, I couldn’t STAGE a better young-Gino pic! Hair is super spiked!! Pout is in full on GO mode, and the bronzer has been judiciously applied. Notice the gold chains in full view, and the fact that pretty boy doesn’t need to bother with such trifling social constructs as ’shirts’. Closer inspection will reveal sunglasses tucked in the right pocket (most likely Channel or Armani), as well as a ‘wad’ of greasy bills in his left hand. Assuredly, neither prop is there by happenstance. As in: ‘Eh Franco, waitaminute.. take another picture Franco, but dis time lemme get a wad of freakin’ bills in my hand, and I wanna make sure my shades and medallions are visible. Should I unzip furda? Furda? Maybe even a l’il furda?’

What’s in the bags you ask? Why jumpsuits of course!

Ok, once you get over laughing at the human jack-o-lantern on the left, take a look at buddy boy on the right. He’s thinking- ‘Damn, I’m so pale. I wonder if I can get down with some o’ dat spray tan - and get the girls to chase after ME for a change?’

Boo-yah.

L’il dude even got a l’il Bling on too. Go git ‘em son.

Am I the only person whose eyes went straight to Mr. Pink Jacket? I think I must be going crazy. Why isn’t anyone else pointing at his head and laughing? And how is it that he has a girl that is willing to be seen, nay. photographed with his nasty orange ass? Speaking of that…. It must look awfully odd where the orange stops and the white begins, no? The two couples on the right must be REAL happy that their lifelong graduation photos will include photos of the Gino brothers, and their razor sharp hairstyles.

At what point does one finally admit to themselves- ‘I may be addicted to spray tanning’. Notice how Carrot face on the left still elected to sport the ‘bling’ over the suit. Classy.

No need for words here. Guys that shave their armpits, flex for photos, and wear Puma headbands to clubs make life full of smiles.

Thanks to FrankinCool for this great article.

Keeping it real-er than most of these guys,

Dizzle.

My apologies for the long hiatus in posting, but I've been recently inspired to restart my ranting, I hope you approve.

You better watch what you do when you are married.

It's that time of year again where we check ourselves to see how good we've been and if we deserve good things in return.

Another Christmas classic can be found here for your reviewing pleasure, but I already got my girlfriend that last year, so I'll have to figure out a different present this year...

I know we all want to bring something creative (but still pleasurable) to the bedroom when we are driven to act on our carnal impulses.

This post is mostly for my brothers, wh0, like me, have an unhealthy addiction to video games and get nostalgic over some of them.

So often things are moving so fast that we can lose sight of our goals, lose our direction, lose our focus if we don't remove ourselves from the minutia around us and look at the bigger picture.

I think we all knew of someone who got their dog high while partying with their buddies, and in that "elevated state of mind" laughed their bag off watching the dog run for food and water as much as we ran for munchies.

That is my name for strip clubs - the happy place. You can't go to one and be upset, there's (hopefully) too many good looking women in various stages of nudity to be mad at anything.

You also can't go to one and not expect to leave as rich as when you went in. If not for some companionship, then for the overpriced beer or food (I never would have eaten at a strip club before, but that article makes it seem favorable over most restaurants).

If you enjoyed visiting a happy place, you probably have thought about what it must be like to own one. Imagine being the GM of your favorite flesh palace and being responsible for running all the auditions, bringing in new entertainers... Sounds like a pretty sweet gig to me.

Well, now you can at least be a partial owner by investing in Rick's Cabaret. It is a conglomeration of gentlemen's clubs that seem to have some pretty solid understanding of what makes a strip club a profitable business. Insanely, they don't actually think it is because of the naked chicks. How naive and way too lyingaboutwhatreallyhappenstoimpresspotentialinvestors.

Even a town in rural Georgia wanted to be a strip club owner. Sadly, they only bought the place to burn it to the ground - there must have been a huge blue mushroom cloud and a plethora of released demons and souls when the demolition happened.

I'm off to support my local happy place so such a travesty doesn't have to happen again, and you should do the same. I'll save you seat at the bar, I'm not the pervert's row type of visitor.

Us Canadians have a international reputation (read stereotype) of being nice, well-mannered, clean, cheerful people.

This is not exactly true, but as far as reputations go, it is better than most of them out there - Americans, French, German, and any middle eastern county all seem to have a negative reputation.

Being Canadian myself, I'd like to think that we are generally good people and rightfully deserve the rep we have acquired during our national history.

But every once in awhile, something completely random and completely anti-Canadian happens. Like the beheading of a passenger on a Greyhound bus. WTF was that all about? I think we've all had those thoughts to do something really crazy like that when we are mad (or not), but our internal good/bad switch usually keeps us from commiting any such act. I guess his switch didn't get flipped.

Almost as interesting as the actual event, was the calm demeanor of the RCMP stating it simply as a "major incident". No embellishment of the incident, no week long news media frezny about it. We'd simply like to deal with it and move on to being friendly and neighborly to the entire world.

By the way, they never mentioned if the assailant was Canadian, but it is highly unlikely...

Payce.

South beach is awesome, the weather is hot, the women are hotter.
What else can I say? Why would you want to live anywhere else?

Nevermind that English is the second popular language here, or that the price of real estate is stupidly over-valued, and general cost of living is pretty high for such a poor state.

If you can forgo all those things then like a wise man once said, "its all good in the hood, with a big ass bitch."

L8R.